My Bestie Amelia is an incredibly insightful woman. She’s always got some nugget of wisdom that I am grateful for.
Sometimes because her wisdom is so profound I wish to bow at her feet.
Other times because her wisdom is gained through hilarious experience.
This post is based on one of the profundities.
“There are two kinds of people. Those who would rather be happy. And those who would rather be right. Would you rather be right, or happy?”
Because I am awesome, right AND happy, I thought I would entertain the masses today with a quiz.
Scenario One: You are sitting with your friends, one of them a new mother. She is telling you all how beautiful, gorgeous and amazing her new baby is. So easy, so lovely, sleeps well, feeds well and all round superstar of a kid.
Do you:
(a) Tell her how happy you are for her, how beautiful her baby is, and yes, you do agree that her baby is a superstar.
(b) Tell her how happy you are for her, but not to count her chickens before they’ve hatched. Your baby was a superstar too, but then they hit x age and now they are a terror.
Scenario Two: You write a Facebook status, blog post or comment on a photo that is not taken as it is meant, {or is taken exactly as it is meant} and people take offence.
Do you:
(a) Either ignore, delete, or laugh and respond jokingly and ironically to any trollish or mean comments. You eventually reply, just once, letting people know these kind of flaming comments are not appreciated.
(b) Respond to every single commenter that disagrees with you, at length, justifying your position and letting them know that you are happy with your choices, so they should stop judging you for judging them. Then you delete them. Then continue to post new updates on the situation, just so everyone knows you are taking this all so well.
Scenario Three: Your husband arrives home with a bottle of wine, a block of chocolate, an anniversary card in the form of a cake that says “Happy Anniversary Honey” and a set of diamond earrings/Coffee machine/insert gift of your choice here. It’s actually your birthday this week, and it was yesterday.
Do you:
(a) Take all gifts lovingly, happily and excitedly, as you try not to laugh hysterically. You even put out that evening. When he is sleeping you slip a handy calendar with all the important dates written in already into his pocket, as an early anniversary gift.
(b) Scream at him for forgetting your birthday, mixing it up with your anniversary which is not for 6 months, throw the cake on the floor, swig down the bottle of wine, put the chocolate in the freezer because your husband hates frozen chocolate and you refuse to share with him, and return the diamond earrings and exchange them for a stamped necklace that reads: “My husband can’t remember my birthday”. Sex is off the agenda until the next time he pisses you off, and then it will be off the agenda again.
If you answered mostly a’s, congratulations, you would rather be happy than right. You will go through life popular, with many friends.
You make mistakes, but you are always forgiven because you are so nice and centred. You’ve been described as “zen”. You probably do yoga.
Your funeral will include much praising of your people skills and possibly be broadcasted worldwide (too soon??), whilst images of your adoring fans weeping are shown on the evening news.
If you answered mostly b’s, congratulations, you would rather be right than happy. You will go through life, be very successful, but spend a lot of time losing friends and alienating people.
You never learn from your mistakes, because in your opinion you never actually make any.
Your funeral will include much praising of your drive and righteousness, and the singing and dancing in the streets will probably be reported in the news.
If, like me, you answered mostly a’s but know you have done things somewhat similar to the b’s, congratulations. You are in the majority. You will go through life like everybody else. Losing friends, making new ones, and hopefully learning from your mistakes.
Just a reminder to those who care to listen:
We all think we are in the right.
Chances are, at least 75% of the time we are not.
25% of the time we are dead wrong, and 50% of the time there is no right answer.
Expressing your opinion is more than welcome.
As long as you plan on doing so respectfully, keeping in mind that not everyone shares your own.
Sometimes, it’s not even the original act (blog post, conversation, rejection of anniversary gifts) that upsets people, but the lack of respect shown when they are brave enough to disagree or make a mistake.
So tell me, has there been a time when you’ve thought it more important to be right than happy? Or are you happy-go-lucky all the time? If you choose happy all the time, I’d like you to put an invite for me in your funeral plans, so I can get my mug on the TV, OK?
i am surprisingly good about not trying to be right with friends, but struggle with my hubby – i am constantly trying to reach that zen woman place where I let it go for the greater good of our happiness -can’t help it if i am right most of the time ; )
Deb @ Home life simplified recently posted..Cooking with kids: How to have fun and stay sane
I think we all have our moments sometimes! We don’t always have the foresight to choose to be happy! Especially where husbands are concerned!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
I would much rather be happy than right….except when someone has been racist, homophobic/misogynistic, etc then I’m the one who gets a little bit fired up
The “wait until your child does this or turns this age” type comments. They annoy me.
Carli@tinysavages recently posted..Perfect PR Pitches for mummy bloggers
Yep, that’s why I saw most of us pick our moments! Oh, the “wait until” is as bad as “oh, yeah, mine did that at the same age too” – I’ve been guilty of both, shamefully!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
There have been times when I have mistakenly thought that being right WAs being happy.
I’ll put those down to youthful ignorance/arrogance – which has long since left the building.
I’m proud to say a) all the way!!!
I honestly don’t get why people waste their precious energy on pulling people down.
Energy much better spent trying to raise yourself up.
Mum on the Run recently posted..Point + Shoot : Good Cop, Bad Cop
Well said! It’s hard enough to get through the day without bothering to bring someone else down!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
I choose happiness. Being right only makes you feel good for a little while because you’ve “won” the situation. I choose happy in any situation with my F-I-L. I know he’s wrong. Everyone else knows he’s wrong. But for the sake of our sanity, I choose to be happy (and know that I’m right!) If there’s a situation that is blatantly wrong and unjust, then I choose to be right. But for the most part – give me happy any day.
Debbie @ Aspiring Mum recently posted..Five Grey Elephants.
Yep, sometimes being right is a sacrifice we make. Sometimes someone needs to stand up and try to correct a wrong. LOL, yes, there is a satisfaction in knowing you are right but being able to walk away!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
I choose ‘happy’ too. There are some (maybe many) people in my life (mostly related, or related by marriage!) with whom, it doesn’t matter how right I actually AM, they will ALWAYS be right. This used to make me angry. But now, I let it go. I choose not to give it too much power over my thoughts or emotions… most of the time!
Julie recently posted..Children get angry too
I have been in the same place, Julie! It’s hard! But I think sometimes we need to learn to let go. Such a hard situation with family though!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
I reckon learning to let go and realising that it doesn’t compromise your position or integrity is a hard skill to acquire. Bloody hard. I need to do more of that.
Gemma @ My Big Nutshell recently posted..True love ascends everything: A story for Valentines Day
I’m mostly A’s, except when I’ve got PMS… then I’m ALL B’s OK!!!!!
Misha recently posted..Comment on An urban legend by Jess
LOL totally OK and totally understandable!!!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
I just wanted you to know I went and hid in the toilet to read this post so I could do your quiz without distraction. Ok?
I’m with the majority. However I will be sending you an invite to me funeral, and seeing as you have an awesome voice I would like you to sing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings,’ whist a montage plays.
Seriously though, I loved this.
And I can guess which scenarios happened and which was imagined.
Jess recently posted..Epiphany
Thank you, I appreciate the invite. I will sing Wind Beneath My Wings in my best and loudest voice. I’ll even make it crack in the right places!!!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
Awesome post! It really depends on the topic with me, especially if I’ve been hurt or burnt similarly before. I won’t lie, I am uptight about certain things and will overreact to anything regarding them so I’d definitely rather be right than happy. On the other hand stuff that other’s may be in arms about don’t seem to phase me. It’s very individual.
I love these scenarios. I’d most likely do that chocolate in the freezer thing as well as laugh it off. Little things
Ames recently posted..Blogging Inspiration
I think that’s why the majority of people won’t have their funerals broadcast! We all have our stick in the mud topics and moments!
Yes, chocolate in the freezer is a common sight around here. Pal tells me he doesn’t like chocolate but if I leave it out he eats it anyway!!!
Daisy recently posted..Happy, or Right?
very interesting Daisy.
I guess it depends on the situation. I think personal values and living true to those are a form of ‘right’, sometimes it might not make you happy but selling your soul instead of backing yourself won’t bring happiness either. Some will go along and do everything that makes them happy, but it’s just for them, they don’t consider the common good. I have little tolerance or acceptance of that.
you’re 2b option was very interesting indeed.
Gemma @ My Big Nutshell recently posted..True love ascends everything: A story for Valentines Day
I’m actually trying to teach this to Mr 4 at the moment. He ALWAYS needs to be right. Even about really silly things. Even if I say, “ok”, or “maybe”, or “you might be right” – he is not satisfied. He wants me to agree with him wholeheartedly – to admit that he is correct. I’ve been trying to teach him that sometimes it just doesn’t matter – that we don’t have to argue about it because it really isn’t important or worth getting upset about. I thought it was all falling on deaf ears until the other day, he actually stopped mid-way through an argument and said, “But it doesn’t really matter Mummy. It’s not important.” And he stopped arguing! It was great
(but there have been quite a few more debates over things today… baby steps…).
Erin @ Lohtown Life recently posted..The wedding dress
I tend to let it go most of the time, so I would say that normally I am an a with a few bs thrown in. But when it comes to my hubby I don’t know what takes over me, but I just feel like I have to prove I am right don’t even get me started on my sister in law who thinks she knows everything, I love to prove her wrong. Hmm mm I’m not painting a really good image of myself am I.
xx
I go with happy for most of the time but every now and then something comes up and I just must proceed with being right.
Rhianna recently posted..A moment of bliss
without doing the quiz I said, “I’d rather be happy” however the quiz would suggest I would rather be right. but truly, it wouldn’t be about being right if I answers A in the first scenario, it would be more about being a jealous bitch b/c my child never slept and secretly I go around hoping no one else’s does either, so they can know exactly how I felt! Soooo ummm, maybe I’d rather be … miserable. WIth company?
As to the second scenario, I deactivated facebook yesterday, because I WOULD RATHER BE HAPPY!!!!!!
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted..Falling Off The Gratitude Wagon
OMFG, if my husband brought home anything apart from his empty lunchbox, I’d be euphoric! He could call it any day he likes.
Dr Bron recently posted..Small Things #8