In the DratLand justice system, toddler based crimes are considered especially heinous. In the DraTHouse, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Toddler Crimes Unit.
These are there stories…
It seems that the alleyways and dark corners of DRaT land are beginning to take a violent turn.
Just this morning, a young boy was pushed off his trike and the culprit thundered his new (stolen) wheels down the hallway.
Also within the past hour, another young boy (currently under suspicion for Grand Theft Trike) was plodding his way slowly to the playroom and found himself pushed from behind into a coffee table.
With the evidence stacked against her, the perpetrator confessed immediately.
This is the transcript of the police interview:
Detective Mum: “What happened to Fraser?”
Female Suspect. Age 3: “I push him.”
D.M.: “You pushed him? Oh dear.”
F.S.: “Yes. Go corner?”
D.M.: “Yes, I think that’s wise. We don’t push.”
The Female Suspect took herself to the corner and once there, began to cry.
After three minutes incorneration (like incarceration, but more corner orientated), the perpetrator emerged feeling victimised by the swift and effective justice system.
Meanwhile, the victim of the Trike-Jacking earlier was plotting his revenge.
Soon enough, the suspected Trike-Jacker was the victim of an attempted suffocation.
Via teddy bear.
The Trike-Jacking victim and convicted Teddy Bundy was reportedly yelling:
“Ticka ticka ticka!”
And laughing maniacally.
All three suspects and victims will be sent to lock up for the afternoon, with a sentence of 2 hours.
They will be eligible for parole after 1.5hours.
What’s the justice system like at your house?