In the DratLand justice system, toddler based crimes are considered especially heinous. In the DraTHouse, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Toddler Crimes Unit.
These are there stories…
It seems that the alleyways and dark corners of DRaT land are beginning to take a violent turn.
Just this morning, a young boy was pushed off his trike and the culprit thundered his new (stolen) wheels down the hallway.
Laughing.
Also within the past hour, another young boy (currently under suspicion for Grand Theft Trike) was plodding his way slowly to the playroom and found himself pushed from behind into a coffee table.
With the evidence stacked against her, the perpetrator confessed immediately.
This is the transcript of the police interview:
Detective Mum: “What happened to Fraser?”
Female Suspect. Age 3: “I push him.”
D.M.: “You pushed him? Oh dear.”
F.S.: “Yes. Go corner?”
D.M.: “Yes, I think that’s wise. We don’t push.”
The Female Suspect took herself to the corner and once there, began to cry.
After three minutes incorneration (like incarceration, but more corner orientated), the perpetrator emerged feeling victimised by the swift and effective justice system.
Meanwhile, the victim of the Trike-Jacking earlier was plotting his revenge.
Soon enough, the suspected Trike-Jacker was the victim of an attempted suffocation.
Via teddy bear.
The Trike-Jacking victim and convicted Teddy Bundy was reportedly yelling:
“Ticka ticka ticka!”
And laughing maniacally.
All three suspects and victims will be sent to lock up for the afternoon, with a sentence of 2 hours.
They will be eligible for parole after 1.5hours.
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What’s the justice system like at your house?
Hahahaha – thanks for brightening my morning Daisy
Erin @ Lohtown Life recently posted..Getting kids excited about sight words
Anytime Erin
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
LOL!!! This is BRILLIANT!
Seriously, that sounds like my house..except with Barbies and lip gloss….oh the pain (and stains..).
Haha! Every now and then I’m sad I only have one little girl, and then I hear a story like this and am glad for a bit of rough and tumble. But seriously, I want another girl – got one spare?
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Sounds reminiscent of our house on many days! The justice system in this house has just returned to the 1 in all 1 policy. If 1 is in trouble everybody is in trouble, and unless there is a clear perpetrator everybody goes to a separate time out – since they are either involved, or about to become involved in the melee!
Oh I like the 1in all in! I might take that up as they get older!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Law and Order TCU This could be a ratings giant!
Cranky Old Man
Cranky Old Man recently posted..BALLROOM DANCING
I know, right? I could take over the world with the new L&O franchise. Or maybe I should just sell it to sesame street…
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Hoping you can suggest a good ‘punishment’ for my Miss 3 who got lost in the supermarket this morning. I need “Missing Toddler’s Unit” as well!
Skyelee recently posted..Fitness Friday – Out of Order
Oh I’m sure we could get an MCU up and running! Scary Skyelee!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
I am snorting and smirking into my hand as I read this in the library (supposedly studying). Oh this is gold.
Dun dun.
Alyce {Blossom Heart} recently posted..Bittersweet Fabric Mail
Haha thanks Alyce! Hope you didn’t get shushed! I always end up reading blogs when I’m meant to be studying as well! Curse of the studying blogger I guess!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Lmfao glad I’m not the only one who had the theme song playing in their head as they read this. Incorneration word of the day. Brilliant x
Beth recently posted..Easter and Religion
Haha! I can’t get the theme song OUT of my head! It’s so funny how iconic it is! Incorneration IS the best made up word I have ever made up. Ever!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
HAHA!!!! I love this! especially as a Law and Order SVU fan! 2 hour detention… not bad! x
tahlia – the parenting files recently posted..me time zone
I know, I’m a lucky lady! Ahem, I mean tough judge…
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Lol!!!
This morning he had one on the way t
My son has started with screaming tantrums last week
Stupid phone!
On our way to daycare this morning. All over because he wanted to take a hot wheel or matchbox car to daycare. But I don’t like him doing this as he loses them & we were already down the road. Joys of 3yr olds *sigh*
Oh Ness, it’s so hard sometimes! I think the tantrums like that just come from confusion. Especially when they don’t know they aren’t allowed to do something they so desperately want to do! It must be so tough to have big people telling us what to do all the time!
Mind you, I know Roo and Riley are the same age and I would never put it past her to have a tantrum with manipulative intent!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Take him officer!
I remember when I was a kid, a friend of mine put a pen in my eye – accidentally… I guess..
I was wearing a bend for two weeks..kind of enjoying my pirate look.
When I healed I kicked the other kid in the ass as hard as I could
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Haha Cindy!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Hee hee.
xx
I’d like to say fair. considered and just.
But really, some days you just pull a cranky judge.
Mum on the Run recently posted..So That’s How The Fairies Do It?
Oh man, some days it’s so hard not to pull a cranky judge!!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
Oh, that is fabulous, Daisy. Just what I needed on a Saturday afternoon!
Kellie @ Three Li’l Princesses recently posted..When did being a mum become so complicated?
Thanks Kellie!
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
I have a 12, 8, and 4 year old offenders. Although it still happens here too our punishment severity is handed down differently depending on age. Funny post though.
Catherine recently posted..Know More about How to Get Community Service Hours
Thanks Catherine
Daisy recently posted..Last week in brief. But not necessarily in order.
You made a great post here and you make me laugh at this. Thanks a lot for the laugh!
Christy Scott recently posted..The Benefits of Choosing Timber Windows When Renovating Your Home
refreshing blog. you made me laugh so hard. oh dear. i love this blog!
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I aim to please