When Kellie from Three Li’l Princesses emailed me and told me she had written an e-book, I was excited.
Then, after reading Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves: The Snotty Truth About Motherhood, I was relieved.
Because as much as I love Kellie, no one wants to promote a dud.
This e-book is at the opposite end of the scale to dud.
To show you how far from dud Kellie is I have secured a coveted guest post by Kellie on the Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves: The Snotty Truth About Motherhood vitual book tour!
A Mother’s Top 5 Concerns Pre-Baby
It’s funny how a garbage
truck load of pooey nappies and three milk tankers of boobie juice can change your perspective on parenting. In the days of being “up the duff’’, I never imagined how I was going to juggle the whole “being a mother thing’’. Sure, I could conduct an interview with some of the world’s brattiest celebrities and keep my cool, but taming a one-year-old? That sounded petrifying.
Somehow, I’ve survived – twice. With Princess Ella now aged four and Li’l Holly 18 months, life is that little bit easier as they become more independent. That’s not to say the post-baby years are easy. Just visit our house at 8.30am every morning.
With the baby stage gone, it’s given me cause to reflect on what my top 5 concerns were pre-baby:
- Dressing a baby. I kept having visions of a frantic octopus and me trying to get all eight arms through the eye of a needle.
- Breastfeeding and expressing. I imagined the “milking machine’’ would latch on too tightly, suck out of control and I’d be yelling for The Bloke In The Shed to come yank it off my chest.
- Never sleeping again. For someone whose version of a late night was usually 8.30pm and who could still manage to sleep in until 9am every day, getting up at all hours to feed and change Ella and Holly was like depriving Paris Hilton of boys.
- How on earth I have a shower. It’s amazing how clean you can get from 2½ baby wipes.
- Losing my perfect innie. I imagined my belly button would forever be an outie, complete with Angelina Jolie-looking lips, after popping out mid pregnancy. Instead, now it looks like the Grand Canyon.
Some days I still wonder how on earth Ella was able to be dressed and fed, while I managed miniscule moments of sleep, a shower and the return of my innie. But we mothers are pretty adaptable creatures. Even if it means gaining a head full of grey hairs in the process.
What were your biggest concerns pre-baby? What were the things you wished someone had told you about?
Kellie O’Brien is a journalist, funny mummy blogger, mum to two li’l princesses and a li’l princess herself, at just 150cms. OK, so that’s being a tad generous. At Three Li’l Princesses, she provides a look inside the life of Tasmania’s “other” princess – all minus Princess Mary’s style. She is also author of the new ebook Only Hearts Should Be Worn On Sleeves: The Snotty Truth About Motherhood.