When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the rain drops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane…
For the longest time, the song Somewhere Over the Rainbow has never been far from my lips.
Maybe right from when I first watched The Wizard of Oz. Eyes ablaze at the beauty of Judy Garland and the wonder of Oz. Age 6. Gran’s house.
For some reason, it’s always spoken to me.
Not because I felt I belonged somewhere else.
At that age, in the midst of the ugly custody battles all too common in the 1980s, I probably just wanted to belong somewhere.
Oz seems as good a place as any.
Now, as an adult, as a parent?
I have a different appreciation for the song and it’s lyrics.
The way the melody soars with hope. The highs and the lows of the notes, up and down and around.
That song, with all it’s whimsy borne of what often sounds to me like a dark place – that song is like life.
When all the clouds darken up the skyway
There’s a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane…
Because the truth is, the light – the place behind the sun, just a step beyond the rain – it really is always so close.
It’s just up to us to take the step.
We don’t need to see the rainbows and bluebirds to know they are there. We just have to believe they are possible.
I’ve been struggling this week I’ve been back from #DPCON12. Struggling to fit back in to life.
Oscar’s forays into hospital Monday and Tuesday, and again yesterday (Friday) have obviously not helped.
I just want to hide. Not be here. Not accept the extraordinary mundane punctuated by the gut-twisting agony of hospitals.
Even though this most recent procedure was not life-threatening.
Even though now it’s done, I am glad.
I think that at some point, my mind has un-numbed itself to it’s reality.
Fully realised how effecting the past two years has been.
How much it could effect the next two.
And then I get to spend over an hour gazing into his sweet, sleeping face. As he recovers from a general anaesthetic, administered simply to remove a dressing. So that he is not distressed any more than he needs to be.
And troubles melt like lemon drops…
Because here he is. In my arms. Heart pumping. Lungs breathing.
Safe.
The taste of the lemon drop still lingers, but it begins to dissipate.
And my other two darlings are wheeled into his room, Roo calling: “Mummy!”. Fraser calling: “O-har! Fraya!” in greeting to his twin.
I look into my exhausted husband’s eyes as he looks at our rarely peaceful son in my arms.
And my heart soars away above the chimney tops…
Parents often say: “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
There are plenty of other ways I would have this life.
But this is the way I have it.
That’s where you’ll find me…
Do you have a song that is never far from your lips? That is a part of your life?
I woke up the morning with Stevie Wonders ‘I Believe’ going around in my head (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H–_-gPX3Nw)
Not too bad really
Lots of hugs to you all, and a big one for Oscar…
Mandi Johnston recently posted..Fittingly, a top five
Thanks heaps Mandi – I believe is a GREAT song to wake up to!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
Same song, different singer – for me, Eva Cassidy’s version of ‘Over the Rainbow’ is breathtakingly beautiful and takes me to a happy place, every time.
Oh Eva Cassidy’s version IS breathtaking!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
I wish I had known it was you at the hospital as it would have been nice to meet in person but we were both busy with our little ones. Hope you don’t have to go back soon but please let me know if you are ever there again and I can pop down and say hi (and even bring you some real food that you don’t have to eat at 5pm so it doesn’t go cold).
It would have been so nice to meet you and have something to take away from all the “hospitallyness”! I will definitely let you know if we are there again – although I hope we aren’t any time soon!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
I think my song changes all the time. For ages it was ‘learning to breath’ by switch foot, then ‘chasing cars’ by Snw Patril at the height of my depression.
Just lately it’s been that one (can’t think if the artist) ‘I see the light surrounding you,’ you know the one?
Hope your doing okay Daisy.
I love you!
Jess recently posted..I’m Not Religious
Oh that’s an awesome song! I can’t remember the band but I know the song for sure!
I’m ok Jess! I think it really is just emotional exhaustion!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
What a beautiful heartfelt and poetic post, Daisy. I love this tender side of you… (as well as your hilarious side too of course!). May you adjust back to ‘real life’ smoothly. And treasure that precious child (and the other 2!). Lots of love. xx
Deb @ Bright & Precious recently posted..Small Things
Thank you Deb! This poor little tender side doesn’t get out often! But she’s having a raging time of it of late! Lots of love to you too!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
I have a lot of songs, all depicting different stages of my life. At the moment it’s “To The Light” by Newtown Faulkner.
Sending you and your beautiful family lots of love, Daisy. Hope to give you that IRL bear hug soon xxx
Grace recently posted..Internet Security for the Family…(A Giveaway !)
Oh anything by Newton Faulkner seems to be a good song to listen to! I hope to give you a big bear hug soon as well!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
* TEARS *
You have a way with words my dear. Writing from the heart is a good place to start methinks.
So happy to hear you have your rainbow to dream of, but your little boy safe in your arms.
Fiona @ My Mummy Daze recently posted..Sexy dreaming…
Thank you Fi! He is home safe and sleeping, even if he does end up in my arms by morning anyway!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
Somewhere Over the Rainbow is one of my all-time favorites! It doesn’t depend on my mood, it always makes me sing! Thanks for reminding me!
Julie recently posted..teeth veneers
Exactly Julie! Happy, sad, melancholy, bubbly, that song ALWAYS seems appropriate!
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…
It doesn’t matter if a trip to the hospital with our babies is for something life threatening or something relatively common. They are our babies and it sucks us dry emotionally and physically.
Somewhere Over The Rainbow is the song that I sing to Tricky when he’s unwell or frightened, because it sounds so hopeful to me.
Be gentle on yourself x
Glowless recently posted..How Not To Ruin Your Marriage: Lesson One
It’s the hope that I love. Even when it’s coming from a dark place. I love that you “get it” xxx
Daisy recently posted..The Hunger Games. Of the chocolate variety…