Last year I was prepared for receiving what I like to call “bugger all” for Mother’s Day.
I asked that instead the dishes be done within 20 minutes, or divorce.
I didn’t get either.
So this year, I have made a much more tangible, easy to read Mother’s Day Wish List.
Easy to follow instructions, if you will.
For Mother’s Day. Sunday. The 13th May 2012.
Hint. Hint. Pal.
1. A coffee machine. Of any shape or size. As long as it makes me a coffee, I will love it.
2. A bread bin. That never runs out.
Like the Tim Tams ad.
But with bread.
I have a pretty good bread bin. But it keeps emptying itself too fast.
I realise this is more a “rub a lamp, get three wishes from a genie” kind of request.
It’s here because it’s just as likely as any other request I might make.
3. Some pretty wool for my new crocheting
Which I am working on secret squirrel style and hope to share with you soon.
4. Make up. Lime Crime.
I want ALL THE COLOURS!! (In my head those capitals sound like the kid from The Shining croaking out “Red Rum!”.
Or Gollum. From The Lord of the Rings.)
Lime Crime Lipstick range and magic dust rainbow goodness!
Asos Bag, Random piccolo wine
I also want all the obligatory cuddles.
And breakfast in bed.
And new slippers.
And love and handmade cards and all that stuff.
But mostly, I want that bag full of wine…
What are you asking the magic genie for this Mother’s Day? Is the Genie likely to deliver?
And no, I will not accept any wishy washy, lovey dovey answers about quiet children or world peace.
Both are as likely as the other.