Dear Facebook Friends,
Please take all of this personally. I mean everything I say.
I use my personal Facebook page mostly to stalk people, keep up with whatever blogs show up in my news feed and very rarely I manage to talk to my friends.
I spend the majority of my time on my personal Facebook page, which is usually only 5-10 minutes a day, liking people’s photos and statuses so they know I am alive and care that they, too, are alive.
I occasionally comment, but then my technology will autocorrect the words to something stupid and I’ll wish I hadn’t bothered.
I do not. I repeat, do not spend my time on Facebook playing games. I mean none. No. Games.
I used to play the garden one but then I had a kid and it was more fun to stare at her while she slept than it was to give people plants and water my brother’s damned garden.
Seriously, Fluff, plants need water.
And there was that one where you built your own cafe. But then I simultaneously birthed two kids out a gaping whole in my stomach.
That means I had two kids at the same time. Twins, they call them.
Which brought my total of kids under 2 years of age to 3.
I don’t even know if my cafe still exists.
Anyway, I have an iPhone for wasting my time on games now.
Facebook gaming does not cut it.
So, requesting my assistance, presence or friendship in a Facebook platform game is pretty pointless. And also, annoying.
So, what can you do if I do not accept your game request/offer of seeds/badge of honour?
The way I see it, there are two solutions. You can either think:
Hey, Daisy doesn’t accept any of my game requests. I guess she’s not a Facebook game kind of person. I’ll stop asking her to be on my planet and send me seeds now.
Hey, Daisy doesn’t accept any of my game requests. But I really like this one game. So rather than bothering her with multiple requests for multiple games, I’ll just request her presence in one game. Once. Every hour. Until she either says yes or deletes me.
I promise you, if you think the latter, deletion is imminent.
I do not care about your planet, ok? I care about the kid about to launch himself off the top of my computer desk onto a couch with no cushions.
Because he pulled the cushions off only two minutes ago to help him climb up in the first place.
I guess you could probably say I am having a 3D gaming experience. All day, every day.
I like to call it “Mum 2 the Rescue 2: Attack of the Mountain Goats”
The original Mum 2 the Rescue involved pulling random items out of Roo’s nose. All day. Every day.
I’m really looking forward to Mum 2 the Rescue 3: Mum’s Revenge.
But until that time, I do believe my Facebook gaming days are over before they ever began.
So please. Stop sending me recruiting requests from your planet. I don’t want to be recruited. Especially not on the hour, every hour, every day this week.
I have this one Facebook friend, and she actually created a whole new profile so that she could continue to be friends with, you know, her friends, without flooding their news feeds with her game statuses and requests.
I find this incredibly considerate and if I was a Facebook game kind of person I would totally send her a badge of honour, bag of seeds and happily be recruited to her planet.
But, alas, I am not a Facebook gamer.
I have no bags of seeds.
So please. Please. Think of the children. My children. Possibly dying from a terrible fall because I was distracted and enraged by yet another “duh-dunk” of the Facebook game variety.
I feel so bad when I delete people. Don’t make me hurt you.