Words can not express how much happier my mornings are when Pal does the dishes the night before.
Waking up and being able to use my kitchen immediately is beyond helpful when the moment my kids wake they start requesting food.
These requests come in varied forms, but the most popular seem to be:
Hurricane of Hunger: This involves Oscar and Fraser posting themselves at one of the two security gates. Oscar seems to prefer the security gates facing the dining room and Fraser most often attends the gate to the hallway. They climb onto the bottom rung of the gate, and then they begin to scream. I’m not exaggerating here. They stomp their way to the gates calm as you like, climb up and begin to scream blue murder. That coupled with the rattling of the gates and an increase in pitch when they see their food is almost ready.
The only thing that makes this sound bearable is the promise that one day, one of those kids is going to rattle the gate right off it’s hinges and hurt themselves. And I will laugh. Hysterically.
The Hunger Games: This involves a Battle to the
Death Toast. Sometimes, I get super lazy and super sneaky in an effort to avoid the hurricane of hunger (see above). I put the TV on, sneak away to the kitchen, make the toast as silently as I can. And by silent I mean I drown out the sound of toast preparation with the sound of my coffee machine. Then, when everyone’s food is ready I call out their names and watch theTwo jostle their way down the hallway in order to be the first to arrive at the gates.
This is especially hilarious when Roo catches on that brekky is ready and ends up knocking them both out of the way as they turn Wipeout corner. The recent addition Of toddler ugg boots to is process is also amusing.
Holy Hunger for Toast: These are possibly my least favourite mornings. They are certainly more quiet than the hurricane of hunger and less injury prone that the hunger games. However, the holy hunger for toast is infinitely more annoying.
Most mornings I endeavor to get a load of washing in the machine before I do anything else. This way I am content that if nothing else gets done, I have at least prevented the Mt Vesuvius in my laundry to erupt any further. The problem with this is that I generally already have a load of washing in the machine, and that must be dealt with.
Obviously we are heading into a minimum ten minute delay before breakfast. This most often results in Roo following me around, commentating on her levels of hunger.
“Mummy, Raw-Rhee hungry. Weetbix?”
“Soon, Mummy just needs to get this washing done.”
Two minutes later.
“Mummy, Raw-Rhee is hungry.”
“I know darling, I won’t be long. I’m just putting this washing in the dryer.”
“Oh, sorry Mummy!”
Thirty seconds later.
“Raw-Rhee sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry, Mum. I NEEEEEEEED bwekfass!”
“OK Rory, I will be one more minute and then I will get you some toast.”
“NO! I NEED weetbix!”
“We don’t say ‘I need’, we say ‘Please may I have’. Don’t be rude.”
“Pleeease mayihaff bwekfass NOW!?!”
These mornings are made especially fun when the Two realize I am on the verge of losing it due to lack of caffeine and constant annoyance. And add to Roo’s repeated, and let’s face it, annoying, requests with a chorus of melodic and insanity-inducing whinging.
“EeerrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaerUhuhuhuhuheeeeerrrr”. In stereo.
Now I realize that all of these problems would be solved if I chose to get up 30 minutes before my kids woke up. I would have time to get a load of washing in the machine, the load from the night before onto the line or into the dryer and the load in the dryer folded and put away. But in the grand scheme of all things completely mental, getting up earlier than my kids would probably be number one or two on my list.
But as I mentioned earlier, all of this is much more acceptable and verging on bearable if I have a clear kitchen bench and sink to work with. And even more so if I’m not the person who had to clean it.
So, thanks Pal – for making my day before it even began. Wanna do it again?