So yesterday was interesting.
First, Pal was called into work around 4:30am because his apprentice’s brother had been in a car accident (he’s ok, in case you are wondering).
Then Roo, who had found her way into our bed yet again, woke and decided to play hide and seek with my blankets. At 5am.
After giving up on any chance of returning to sleep (at 6:30am – I really did give ignoring her a good hot shot) I got up and decided to release the Two from their prison.
Known as their bedroom. Filled with toys. Complete with a trampoline – otherwise known as two mattresses on the ground.
As I opened the door, I heard Fraser singing.
The song all mothers dread to hear.
“I poo, I poo, I poo!”
And in the split second before I opened the door fully, I honest to goodness thought I was just going to have to change a rather unpleasant nappy.
Oh how naive I was.
There, sitting in the middle of his bed (aforementioned mattress on the ground), was my eldest son (by 40 seconds).
Completely, utterly, starkers.
He had managed to wrangle his way out of his sleeping bag, his big softie pajamas, his clip up suit underneath, and his nappy.
In order to poo all over his bedroom floor.
And you know what I thought?
Thank goodness he ate all those bananas yesterday.
By 7am all the children were fed and I proceeded to dress them and get Roo ready for her day at daycare.
By 8:30 we were wandering down to her school and picking as many flowers as possible on the way.
Because Pal had left for work so early, he had forgotten to get the correct pram out of the boot of the car and so I decided that seeing as we were, for once, early for dropping the girl at school, we would head over, say hi to Daddy and do the pram swap dance.
In the process of the pram swap dance I managed to offend my husband mightily.
At which point he yelled at me in front of both customers and colleagues and threw his bread rolls all over the ground.
In his defense, he was exhausted and I had forgotten to do something he had repeatedly asked me to do.
And, being the gracious and cool headed wife we all know me to be – *ahem* – I took his bank card and wandered down the street to buy myself a new teapot.
Because that will teach him!
That evening, when he asked me about the new addition to my teapot collection (and had apologized for the outburst), and why it was necessary, I told him exactly how and why that teapot now sits on my kitchen bench.
And that, ladies, is how revenge is best served.