Daisy Roo & Two

Thoughts of a 32yo woman during a 1.4km* walk… Part 1

Thoughts of a 32yo woman during a 1.4km* walk… Part 1

*That’s just under a mile for the non-metric amongst us.

Ah. Forgot to grab milk at the shops today. I wonder if Paul will go…

Haha. You’re so funny. I knew he wouldn’t go.

Oh, now I’ve decided to go he does the half hearted offer. Don’t worry mate, I got this!

“If I’m not back by 7:30 call the police.”

I hate walking at night. I’m totally going to get raped and mugged.

Calm down Daisy.

Most likely you’ll just get mugged. If they need your library card so badly they can have it because it’s the only thing of worth in your wallet.

So. Dark. I’m totally going to trip over. Just pick. Your. Feet. Up.

I wonder what my headline will read, after I’m dead from being abducted, raped and murdered?

Do you think they’ll blame me for having a glass of wine with dinner?

One glass. Ha. A standard glass is 150ml and you probably had like 250ml so yeah, you’re getting blamed for your own death for SURE.

Calm the farm Daisy. You’ve literally walked three houses down.

There’s a lady cleaning out her car. I see a vacuum.

WHERE’S THE CORD. OH FUCK I’M GOING TO TRIP OVER THE CORD BECAUSE I AM THE CLUMSIEST MCCLUMSERTON IN HISTORY.

Oh, there it is. Nice big step over it, ok. Ok, there we go. Made it.

Right. Onwards not-so-Christian soldier! To the supermarket for milk we go.

I wonder if I still believe in God. I really should sit down and think about that. I’m still undecided which is unfortunate because I’m 32 and this seems like something I would have have figured out for myself by now. What if I don’t believe in God but I’m wrong? That’s gonna be awkward on judgement day.

What’s the etiquette for lecturing ones potential kidnapper on women’s rights?

“I SHOULDNT HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE AFRAID OF YOU! Why is it MY responsibility to safe guard against you? Couldn’t you JUST NOT RAPE?”

Right. A road. We need to cross it. OK. Two cars coming. It’s dark, they won’t see me. Step BACK from the curb.

Right. Across we go.

OMG there’s more than one of me in here.

My shoes are really noisy.

If I get chased down by a thief or rapist I’m going to have to kick these off. I’ll trip over or they’ll fall apart or something ridiculous.

No one will know it was my shoes’ fault I died. They’ll blame the wine and me because what sane and intelligent woman goes walking in the dark 1.5km at 7pm for milk – WHO RISKS THEIR LIFE FOR MILK?

Me, that’s who, news.com.au – ME! Some of us like frothy milk with our coffee in the mornings, ok?

Oh god. That car is pulling over. Head down. Keep walking. Walk faster.

My hair is up, I’m wearing pants and my ass is the size of the new baby white whale Paul showed me a video of earlier. No one wants to rape me. No. One. Wants. To. Rape. Me.

Don’t be stupid Daisy. Some sicko is waiting around the corner. Stay. Alert.

Right. A parking lot. Don’t walk across there. That is a major idiot move. Anyone could be lurking behind any shadow. Just stick to the path.

Oh good. Lights on at the bus stop. Even if someone was waiting in there to jump me there’s lights and cars on the road will see.

Recognise. React. Report. Right?

Oh god. What if they think it’s a domestic situation and don’t want to get involved. Then I’m fucked.

Ok. Hit the button, wait for the little green man.

Oh, wait. No cars on the road.

Run across it anyway just in case some idiot is speeding.

Oh my god don’t fall over don’t fall over don’t fall over.

Middle! Hit the button again.

Oh, no cars again! Get across this one quick because the next one is soooooo slow.

Don’t fall over don’t fall over don’t fall over.

Safe!

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Man on other side of road. Stay out of arms reach. Oh, nope. He’s with a woman. Totally ok.

YOU IDIOT THATS NOT OK. SHE COULD BE HIS ACCOMPLICE.

I am so far from normal.

I wonder if it’s from too many crime novels and true crime podcasts.

Who really killed Hae Min Lee and why don’t the police want to know?

Dance shop. Fraser is going to need another pair of shoes soon. Maybe Osky too.

Is the hairdresser advertising alcohol now? Ooh, what kind? No. Wait. Just Moroccan hair oil.

Ooh I want to try the Thai stuffed chicken!

 

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